Thursday, June 14, 2018

Relaxed Pace

I've been meaning to write this post in some form or other, but I didn't have any art for it until I was going through my old drawings last night and found this. I thought I had lost it forever. Originally it was drawn to go along with dialogue I had already come up with, but by the time I drew it I had forgotten the words. So I guess they weren't really that important. Anyway, the drawing is of two versions of me talking to each other. Often I've felt like I was either talking to myself or there were two parts of me disagreeing with each other. I've basically gotten over that by this point since I've been able to identify where those voices come from better.

But the relaxed tone of the drawings fit what I wanted for today. I haven't posted a lot of art since I got back from college. Not only because I've been working on a lot of other stuff that I've wanted to do for a while, but also because I don't feel as worried about getting my art done. I used to feel so worried that I was going to lose these years or that I wouldn't get better at art if I didn't push myself a little all the time. But now I know that it's going to happen. It's going to happen naturally, and there's no reason to pressure myself to do it. I'm sure that sounds worrying to some people I know who are worried I'm going to "go too far the other way." I haven't. I'm finally going at my own pace after 8+ months of near-constant stress. And my faith that my work will get done doesn't come from me. I don't think I'm going to naturally get better. Far from it. I think God is going to help me naturally without my forcing it. He's the answer to both procrastination and workaholism. And there's nothing I can do or not do about it. Thank you, God.

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